You know you're a parent when:
- You have to pull over on the side of the highway to nurse your crying infant and let your toddler pee in the weeds.
- You can survive on much MUCH less sleep than you ever thought possible.
- You make sure the kids all have matching clothes, are fed and clean but you walk out of the house without brushing your hair or teeth.
- The phrase "oops, I spilled" most likely means you'll be mopping up an entire bottle of dish soap from the door of the dishwasher.
- You find dried baby poop on your pants and aren't completely grossed out by it. In fact, you're so tired that you forget to even change your pants.
- Your house becomes a mine field of dolls, legos, and books.
- You aren't surprised to find a pair of socks or other pieces of laundry in kitchen drawers or the fridge.
- You find hundreds of teeny tiny pieces of toilet paper strewn about the bathroom floor and stuck to the bottom of your feet.
- You often fold the laundry twice or three times because we all know what "I want to help fold the clothes, mama" really means.
- Stickers. Everywhere.
- You find glitter in the baby's hair.
- You realize late in the afternoon that you've only eaten half of your toddlers' banana, the last bites of her toast, and a handful of nuts all day.
- You find yourself humming the Elmo's World theme song when your children aren't even nearby.
- You stop wearing black shirts because you find that spit-up and boogers are too easy to spot on them.
- Your windows and doors always have nose/hand/finger prints on them even right after they're cleaned.
- The perfect date night is taking a nap with your hubby.
- You can recite "Jamberry" and "When You Give a Mouse a Cookie" by heart because you've read them 28 times this week.
- You know the clean-up song. Oh you know what I'm talking about!
- You frequently find rocks or small toys in the dryer.
- You find yourself gently swaying back and forth even when you're not holding a baby.
- Grocery shopping alone is a mini vacation.
- Your purse no longer holds make-up, hair accessories, a compact, and gum. It is now filled with plastic toy animals, a container of snacks, an extra pair of undies for your toddler, diapers and wipes, and a few loose crayons.
- Your fridge is covered in beautiful art!
- The phrase, "I wiped myself, mama!" means finding a mutilated roll of toilet paper and pee and/or poo on the toilet, the rug, the sink, the floor, and her clothes.
- You beam with pride when your baby smiles for the first time, learns a new song, a word, shares with others, rolls over, sits up, learns to put her clothes on by herself, takes their first steps, laughs, etc.
- You get excited when you're able to sleep for 4 consecutive hours at night.
- Your computer goes excruciatingly slow because you have billions of pictures of your kids on it taking up all of the memory.
- Your table no longer has vases of roses and daisy's, but of dandelions and creeping charlie's.
- You are a pro at cutting up any kind of food into teeny tiny pieces.
- Hearing the phrase, "I love you, mama/dada" from your little one is pretty much the best thing ever.
- You would do almost anything for your kids and you absolutely don't regret any of the above!
Feel free to add your own!
When you have done airplane spoons and potty dances in order to teach the benefit of eating and NOT peeing in your pants!!!
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