Tuesday, December 14, 2010

More thoughts on time

Lately I’ve been thinking about time. Where does the time go? During this season I am constantly reminiscing about last year at this time when I was 8 ½ months pregnant, huge, uncomfortable and uncontrollably excited to be a momma and meet our new baby. The anticipation of finding out whether we’d be having a boy or a girl, being able to try out all of this fun baby stuff on an actual baby, finally being able to look into the eyes of the creature that had been kicking me in the ribs for the last few months! I just kept thinking, “next year at this time we’ll have an almost one year old!” It was just so surreal.

January seemed like the perfect time to have a new baby (what time isn’t perfect for a new baby?!) with the cold months to enjoy that bonding time curled up on the couch with the newborn who would sleep 18 hours a day and eat the remaining 6. During summer we’d have a 6 month old who could sit up, scoot, and crawl around the grass and in the sand. In the fall we’d have a 9 month old who could move all over, dance, laugh, play, and enjoy lots of walks through the crunchy leaves. And now during this time of year we have a little monkey who crawls at super speed, pulls herself up, tries to stand for a bit on her own, and listens closely to try to understand what mom and dad are saying and participate in the conversation in the ways she knows how.
I didn’t know of this kind of joy before Emery came into our lives. The love I have for my husband, although profound, is utterly different than the love I have for her. I remember the first time I saw her, those big eyes, round chubby cheeks, tiny little clenched fists, skinny little legs. She was perfect. I remember staring at her for hours thinking about how great God could be to make something so beautiful, a 7 pound 4 ounce little life. A miracle!

During chiropractic school I had to take a class on embryology (the study of the growth and development of the human embryo from conception to birth) and it made more of an impact concerning my appreciation for God and on my faith in Him as my Creator than anything I’ve ever read or heard previously. I won’t go into detail or bore you with complicated terminology, but this most remarkable process is so incredibly mind bogglingly complicated that it is an absolute miracle that the greater majority of us end up with, not only ten fingers and ten toes, but also two eyes, two ears, one mouth, one liver, one heart, lungs that work, a brain that functions, a working digestive system, circulatory system, endocrine system, and on and on. Not to mention that everything is all in the right place…no ears on our legs, kidneys in our chest, eyes on the sides of our head instead of in front. The most extraordinary part of this all is that everything is formed to exact specifications, perfect guidelines, and all in it’s place within only 9 months! And many babies live completely healthy lives when they are born at only 6 months! I wish I could show you my notes from class or press on you in a better way the detail and complexities that go into this process. The crazy part is that we don’t even know everything there is to know about embryology yet. We are still learning.
This brings me back to time. Time is so fleeting, so precious, and yet we don’t even realize how fast it gets away from us. My baby will be turning one in only a matter of weeks and there is so much more I wish I wrote down, documented about her first year, because I know I’ll forget. I already forgot so much. But all I can do is put it all in God’s hands and know that He has it all written down, for “even the hairs on your head are all numbered.” Luke 12:7 and “He determines and counts the number of the stars; He calls them all by name.” Psalm 147:4. I pray that in the coming years I am able to be a faithful steward of the miracles God has given me, that I’m able to be the wife and momma God has called me to be, and that I can redeem the time that passes, every minute that goes by, and use it for His glory. “My times are in Your hand” Psalm 31:15.

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